Friendship is a word that has no absolute definition. Instead, its meaning is based on how an individual views it.

However, two things are necessary concepts regarding the meaning of friendship.

They are Mutuality and Voluntariness.

By Voluntariness, I mean that friendship is not compelled. It exists between two or more persons who come together to become acquainted out of the choice made out of their own free will.

By mutuality, I mean that friendship is also reciprocal. It is an action experienced and practiced by the parties involved.

Why do people engage in friendship?

The reason for this question would give way to the types of friendships.

According to Aristotle, there are 3 types of friendships as depicted in Book VIII of the Nicomachean Ethics. They include:

. Friendships of Utility
. Friendships of Pleasure
. Friendships of the good

Friendships of utility are often characterized by the colloquial, ” _scratch my back and I will scratch yours.”_

This is the kind of friendship that exists between you and someone useful to you in some way. For instance, possibly you’re friends with the intelligent guy in your classroom because he helps you out in solving maths assignments, and in return, you gift him nice clothes and shoes.

This sort of friendship is usually temporary.

Friendships of Pleasure exist between persons who find fun and delight in the company of each other.

Often, friends of this type are regarded as “entertainment pals”, people with whom you do social activities like playing snooker and soccer games.

Friends in this category hang out because they share common pleasures and hobbies.

This friendship can easily end when the activity that brought them together no longer exists.

Friendship of the Good: This is the most perfect of all types of friendship. It takes a long time to build and is not easily broken.

Aristotle considered this type as “brotherly love.”

In this perfect level of friendship, there is no intent to gain anything from the other. Rather the focus is on how one can fulfill the other’s wishes.

These are friendships based on a mutual admiration of each other’s qualities.
People who have a handful of this type of friends in their lives are truly blessed.


How can one maintain good friendships?

Be Loyal: Loyal friends support each other in good and bad times. One doesn’t backbite and tear down the other.

Openness: Good friends don’t keep unhealthy secrets.

Acknowledge the differences in others: Bear in mind that everyone has a unique personality. It is important to understand the 4 personality traits dominant in people – Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholic, and Phlegmatic.

Knowing the personalities in people makes you able to accommodate them and their excesses.

Love, Trust, and Respect: These are other ingredients needed in maintaining a perfect friendship. Friends who respect each other apologize when one offends the other. Similarly, respect will make you not cross your friend’s boundary.

Love and respect your friends without an underlying intent.


Ultimately, good friends are rare gems.

A friend will tell you what you want to hear but it takes only a _good friend_ to tell you what you need to hear.


Where does your friendship fall under?