Once upon a time, a medical doctor was to take the delivery of a baby. The pregnant mother was fully dilated and it was time for her to start the series of pushes that will force the baby, head first and then shoulder next, out. This doctor had seen different kinds of mothers in obstetric labor and no matter how many times he had witnessed this matter, every one still proved to be awesome.

The wonder of carrying another human being in yourself for months and then having him or her delivered from you whether by pushing or by cutting, was never lost on him. In fact, he had since reached the conclusion that childbirth was proof that, generally speaking, women whether mothers or not, were stronger than men. God had equipped them with a little more of that inner capacity to withstand adversity, than men.

This is medical science. Girl babies, especially, premature ones, are stronger than boy babies. They survive more. If ten premature babies die for whatever reason, maybe only 3 will be girls. It is also biblical. The first woman was created to help the first man. That word “help” is like the word “helper” used to describe the ministry of the Holy Spirit. It is a very powerful word. God likes to hide great strength under humility. Just as the Helper submits to the name of Christ in everything and is not with us in His own name (John 16:13-14), the real God-given power of the wife is seen in submission (1 Peter 3:4-5). May worldly ideas not rob our sisters of their mighty estate.

Anyway, where I am going is that this remarkable strenght of our wonderful wonders, also comes with remarkable drama. Real men know how to handle the drama and focus on the strength. Foolish men complain or fight or try to dominate and control.

So that was how this our doctor was to take this delivery and he was monitoring all the 3 Ps of labout [powers (the pushing mother), passageway (the birth canal), and the passenger (baby)], with all the required seriousness; and you wouldn’t believe this woman in labor. She said

“Doctor you are not smiling. You have to smile”

“Wha….What?! Madam?”

As in “Pardon?” He did not see that coming. At all.

“I said you cannot take my delivery with this frowning face. You have to smile”

(Hey! Dear nurse, are you hearing this? Are we all okay? Is this low blood sugar? When last did she have a meal? Is her blood pressure high? Is she dehydrated?)

“Madam please can I see your tongue?”

She shows Mr. Doki. Tongue is wet enough. She’s not dehydrated.

“Doctor I’m fine. I just want you to smile”

(For wetin? In this fairly hot room (cannot be too cold, baby will soon be out and babies don’t do cold) where I’m covered in long gloves, aprons and stuff?
Inside labour you are also monitoring my face? These people have strength. Women can monitor 23 difrerent things at the same time with equal effectiveness.)

“Madam please let us work together to get a smooth thing going here. My smile has nothing to do with this”

“Doctor, I can see your face from here…if you don’t smile I won’t allow you deliver my baby!”

The doctor looks at her. Gosh! She is serious! Ah!

(Goodness me! Worrisdis?! If I don’t smile??? Reeaallly? If I don’t smile?!!! What of if I don’t spectranet?)

Drama drama drama drama

So our doctor had to ask, out of sheer perplexity

………”Why. Do. You. Want. Me. To. Smile?”

She said…..”Doctor, your face is the first face my baby will see when she comes into the world. I want her to see a smiling face!”

(Chei! Say what? Wetin you talk madam? So overgasting and flabberwhelming!)

He did not have time to explain that babies come out with eyes tightly shut and you had to clean their bodies and faces, and so they couldn’t see anything for the first few minutes; couldn’t see beyond some centimetres for the first few days, and couldn’t recognise smiles or frowns for the first few weeks.

No time. Head was wrapped tightly in a small corridor. Imagine this woman!

Maka why?

Tell me, can a man ever put you through this kind of nollywood something, even if he is in labour? Drama upon drama upon drama upon drama! Biko carry your inner strength and be going. Leave us alone.

That was how Mr. Doctor stepped out for 1 minute, and with immediate effect and automatic alacrity, recomposed his serious work-face into a smiling face for our drama queen in labor (It was a real smile too. He understood)

And everything went well.