“For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.

Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me”.

Romans 7:19-20

And I kept wondering how something so powerless could have great power over me.

Masturbation!

Fornication!

Drugs!

Sex addict!

I was lost in it. Though my attendance’s in church was regular. Though I was working for God but those were the secret SINS I was battling with.

People saw me as the Holy-Ghost brother. They were attracted by the manifestation they saw outside; little did they know that it was a delusion caused by the deception of the eyes.

Who could’ve believed that I who preaches against LUST was LOST IN IT?

Who could’ve believed that masturbation was inevitable to me? I masturbated like everything about me depends on it.

I spoke in tongues like a multipurpose machine gun. Yes, I did but dear, it wasn’t enough.

Just like others, I was brutal in prayer meeting yet its still wasn’t enough.

Though I was an epitome of emulation to other Christians youth who aspired to be like me, yet my secrets life was worst than anything else.

The battle of my flesh. I knew that I needed help but I was deceived by my imagination which said, “Believe in yourself you can come out of it without seeking for help from God and your church leaders”.

I believed in myself but later realized that there’s a mess you would get yourself into in which believing in yourself is not enough.

In the eyes’ of men I was brother Holiness.

In the eyes’ of the devil, he was accusing me saying, “Peter I know, Paul I know but who are you?”

In God’s eyes, he was saying, “Wouldn’t you come back son? Wouldn’t you asked(me) for help? Son! You can’t do this on your own! You need me!

Then, I remembered, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I’ll give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you shall find rest unto your soul”.

With tears from my eyes, I knew that I needed rest from fornication, masturbation, drugs, lust and my sex addict life. I knew that I needed.

It’s one thing to have a problem and, another thing to accept that you’ve a problem.

I was about to move when he, the devil, brought my past lifestyles to me: he said, “Remember the pleasure you derived from the formication! Remember the satisfaction you got from masturbation! Remember…. Remember…. Do you just want to let Beatrice go like that? Beatrice, the most gorgeous sister in the choir group. The sister with the angelic voice’s. come-on, you’re going to missed alot if you should follow Christ.

My past sinful pleasure kept depicting right before my eyes.

And, at the moment, I was lost in a state of dilemma. It seems Herculean to get rid of it and totally surrender to Christ.

At the background was the song, “CHRIST JESUS HATH THE POWER”.

“What are you still waiting for? Brothers and sisters, this might be your last chance. God is still calling…COME! Noooooo brother, you’re too precious to God for him to leave you the way you are. COME!!!” was my pastor’s tearsful voice.

I made a step forward.

“What are you doing?” The devil interrogated.

”I will help you. You need me son. You’re too precious for me to leave you the way you are” JESUS said.

I made a step forward again from where I stood.

Then came the second question from the devil, “What are you doing? Remember, the fun and your gorgeous Beatrice! Do you want to lose her?

Then I replied, “DEVIL, I can’t crucify him(CHRIST) again. I can’t betrayed Christ again! NO! I can’t do it anymore. I rather lose Beatrice and my lustful desires than lose Christ. Nooo, I can’t and I won’t”. I cried, moved out and laid all at the foot of the cross. I laid down at the altar and cried out, “JESUS SAVE ME”.

like a mighty wind, I experienced Jesus breathed on me and I was free.

Since then, till date those things that seems impossible to me were made possible by CHRIST.

Masturbation, sex addict, lust, fornication and others inward sins, GONE.

Hallelujah to his name.

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

I don’t know the secret SINS you’re battling with. I know you’ve tried but dear, you can’t do it on your own. There’s a God who is capable of helping you. You need his help.

Surrender again to him today. He alone can help you. GOD IS STILL CALLING YOU.

Let us pray 🙏

Please, SHARE TO SAVE OTHERS.

FICTION.

Written by,

Myrose Saviour.